Merry Christmas.

Good evening! I am writing this in my son’s room in the pitch dark as I wait a few minutes to make sure he is asleep. He had a big day today and is having a hard time staying asleep.
We have also moved him from his rock n play sleeper to his big boy crib. And we have stopped holding him for naps and have been putting him in the crib.

We have been planning this for months since Craig (my husband) and I have were both off this week.
While it hasn’t been a disaster, it has been challenging, and I am glad we decided to do it together and when we were off work.

During the night the first night he slept fine but when he woke up the first time he wouldn’t stop crying when I would lay him down. That went on for about an hour, then he did fine the second time. He actually slept longer that night than ever before.
The other two nights have been good sleeping but when he gets up to eat he is up for an hour and a half. In his rock n play I would just lay him back down and he would put himself back to sleep.
But, he is just getting used to it so I am going to give it some time.

During the day. Oy vay.
We put him down. Let him cry a bit. Comfort him. Put him back down. And if he doesn’t go down after the third attempt we just bring him downstairs. Eventually he has gotten tired enough all three days where he takes one size able nap in his crib.
I know he is not getting enough sleep during the day with that one nap, but hopefully he gets adjusted in the next few weeks and is back to taking his 2-3 naps.

Tonight has been the roughest night. He has been up 3-4 times since we laid him down. He normally doesn’t do that. I blame it on an overstimulated day, crib training, and starting food all in the last few weeks.
He is just such a sweetie. It breaks my heart when he is crying and so tired. And he just wants to sleep.

Anyway. I hope everybody had a Merry Christmas. I hope to blog more in the new year. I need to get my life together weight wise, fitness wise, and budget wise.

I will leave you with some pictures of my bug.

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Merry Christmas!!

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A new day…

Well, the best possible scenario happened. My husband is off today and tomorrow. So, after Henry ate at 10:45 (because I put him to bed at 5! LOL), I handed off night duty to him. And then we had a snow storm so we had a two hour delay that turned into a snow day. So I stayed in bed until 745!!!
I can’t say I slept that whole time, I don’t think my body remembers how to at this point. But, I feel a lot better today. And so does Henry.
And I am getting a lot of stuff done around the house! Laundry, paper work…

One of the best decisions I made (with my mom’s help) before going back to work was that I was not going to bring work home. I was going to have a true separation of work and home. I know I will be behind at school, but honestly, I’ve been forced to be much more efficient and use my time more wisely. I’ve had more realistic expectations of myself, and have actually enjoyed going to work. I’ve always loved my job, but I was getting burnt out. And this separation is the best thing for me.

Well, my husband, master nap dadarino, as he likes to call himself, just got Henry to sleep for a nap, so I am going to watch Gossip Girl on Netflix and continue to clean our office.

Thanks for all of your support!

Xoxox,
Beth WA

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Exhausted. Overwhelmed.

Today I feel exhausted and overwhelmed. I also feel inept. I am guessing mom’s feel like this all of the time, but, they seem to still function.
I am having trouble functioning after this week. I’ve been sick, Henry had a virus and is better now but has been very challenging. Especially with night time sleep. His day time sleep has always been challenging. I could handle one but not both, it seems.

Also, my husband worked 7 days in a row. Today being the 7th day.

I have mounds of laundry.
I have to get to the grocery store.
I have to straighten up my house for a cleaning service.
I have tons of school work piling up at school.
And what I really need is 8 hours of sleep.
I feel like a big baby. My friends all do and did this with other kids in tow.
So, I will have this pity party and then get over it.
It is 2:04, I am starving and thirsty. But instead I sit here holding my precious baby, because as we know he doesn’t sleep in a bed. Lol.

And I will be thankful. And weepy. And tired. And hungry.

And repeating my mantra.

“This is just a phase.” 😏

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Check in

So, I was overly ambitious with starting back to work, starting a new diet…blah blah blah.
Things haven’t been going well on the diet front. Actually, I do well until about 5 every day. Then, I go hog wild. So, I have to figure that out and then it won’t be so bad. I’ve been doing well packing lunches and eating healthy meals. It’s just the junk I eat after and between meals. Halloween candy was not a good choice. I should just take it to school.

But, really, I don’t even care that much, because for the first time in a really, really long time in my life I feel happy. I am happy to get up in the morning. Even with 6 hours of broken sleep. I am happy driving to work, and so excited as the day ends that I get to go get my baby boy.

I can’t even describe my love for him. He makes me so happy. Even when he is screaming his head off or being a whiner- I still just love him to pieces.

Well, it is 7:30 and I am going to bed. Daylight Savings Time is kicking this family’s ass.

: )

Xoxox,
Beth WA

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Friday Photos

Here are my 5 fav iPhone photos from the week.

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Happy.

So, for the last several years it is no secret that my husband and I have been struggling with infertility, and that we experienced a miscarriage.

It has been really difficult- to put it mildly.
I compared it once to carrying a “suitcase of sad” around with me all of the time.
I was able to laugh and smile and have fun. But there was always that suit case weighing me down. It got really heavy near the end there. It seemed that the joy was sucked out of every thing in my life.
I didn’t like my job any more- which has always been a job that I loved.
I didn’t feel like doing anything social.
I could very well sit on my couch in my house for days on end and just watch tv and surf the web and read blogs and magazines.
I knew it was bad as I was experiencing it, but as I am coming out of it, and I look back, I see how badly I really felt. I see how much my personality and interests had changed- or went away.

And lately things have changed. I find myself enjoying being busy. I spend a lot less time on the couch. And I can barely make it through a television show.

And, although I hate leaving my baby boy in the morning, I love watching him and his daddy play and laugh in the bed.

Then the big smile Henry gets when his Grammies gets here to pick him up.

The last few mornings as I was driving into work I found myself having this weird, unfamiliar feeling. I was smiling as I was driving, and I thought to myself… I think…
Maybe…
Perhaps…
This feeling is called happiness.
I feel joy again.
I can enjoy the moments with my kiddos at school again. Like, really enjoy them.
In fact, I dressed up for Halloween for the first time in years at school today. The kiddos loved it. And so did I.

So, as I end this, I want anybody who is carrying the suitcase of sad to know that I am thinking about them- and I can’t wait for them to be able to check that baggage!

Xoxox,
Beth WA

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Thursday update.

Well, it’s been hard to get on here this week, and hard to stay on track. I’ve been about 75% gluten free.
I’ve been over my calories by a bit almost every day, but I still keep tracking.
Today- the scale showed that. I gained almost 2 lbs back.
Boo!
So I did what any normal person would do.
I went on a gluten rampage. Biscuits. Soft pretzel. Kit kats.
Blerg.

Back at it tomorrow. This weekend I have to make a meal plan and do meal prep on Sunday. I didn’t do that this week and it really showed. I also stopped eating overnight gluten free oats for breakfast and am eating something different and I don’t think it is sticking with me like the oats.

And I am still trying to get my one twenty minute walk…..

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I will post pics of my elbows and face tomorrow. I am already in bed. Lol.

Xoxoxox,
Beth WA

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