You are over George Clooney.
So, every single minute of my first trimester was filled with anxiety, and nervousness and exhaustion. So, each minute felt like so much longer. The weeks dragged on until I reached that glorious second trimester. That is when the chance of miscarriage is very, very small. So, I was extremely elated to reach that milestone and to be able to share the news with everybody. I don’t think I have ever gotten that many “likes” or comments on a post on Facebook in my life. This baby is fulfilling so many prayers and hopes, and I feel so blessed and lucky. And I am rooting and praying every single day, for the women that are dear to me, and women I don’t know that are still on the journey to become pregnant. It is not an easy road. In fact, it is the hardest road I have ever traveled. I pray for those people every day.
Multiple times a day.
So, I have been taking weekly pictures, and here are weeks 13-18. It is something I knew I wanted to do when I got pregnant. I just started to pop out, so the first couple pictures are just my regular belly, but near the end you can see it is getting bigger.
And here is the bambino at the ultrasound I had this week, week 19. We could have found out the gender, but we are waiting.
We cracked up because the baby kept raising its fist in the air like that – as if it were pissed at us for bothering him/her.
Also, I ordered canvases from Etsy for the nursery. Our theme is Very Hungry Caterpillar, and I loved these canvases online. But, I was nervous to get them and when I received them, they were even more beautiful than I imagined. They were hand painted.
And here are the first pieces of clothing I bought for the baby. I am telling you this – not finding out the gender is a real money saver for me. I know I would be buying clothes left and right if I knew what I was having. So, here are the cutest gender neutral clothes…from J. Crew. They were a splurge, but I couldn’t resist. I love both of these books so much.
And lastly, here is a picture of my sweet baby girl – my niece Ava- who lives in Texas, at her second annual school hoe-down.
Things have been good here, except that my mother’s mother passed away last week. It has been a tough week for my mom, and also a lovely week as family and friends gathered to support our family. It always makes me tear up the people who show up at wakes and burials. It is such a thoughtful gesture, especially when it is in the middle of the work week.. . People from my work, friends from near and far, and our Springfield family and friends. I appreciate so much the support and love I feel on a daily basis.
Well, nesting has begun, and today my husband and I are going through all of our clothes to donate, toss, and organize.
I have this weird feeling, now that I am pregnant. I had it when I got married, too.
I didn’t meet my husband until I was almost 30, and most of my friends had been married for years by then (I live in Ohio!). Or, if they weren’t married, they were in a long term relationship. I was the “single friend.” And, I guess over the years, being single was a huge part of my identity. It was who I was. And when I finally met my husband, and married him, it took a long time to let go of that part of my identity. There were parts of that identity that I really loved. But, I think I even started to love the part that I got to feel sorry for myself.
And when I wasn’t single any more, I felt like I had betrayed all the single people who were looking for a mate like I had been. I knew I had no more “credibility” with them, because I had gone to the other side.
And now, after three and a half years of infertility, I am 14 weeks pregnant. And I am feeling that guilt. There are people I know who are still struggling with this issue, and I want them to know that I still ache for them, like I ached for so long. And even 14 weeks in, having known I am pregnant for 10 weeks now, it still does not seem real, and I am still letting go of the identity I assumed as a woman suffering with infertility. I was so sad for so long, and it is weird – even though I am pregnant – that sadness didn’t go away immediately. Little by little I can feel it being lifted. But, it wasn’t a sudden cure all for that “suitcase of sad” that I carried around for so long.
But, like letting go of my single self, I know I will soon be able to let go of that sadness. It won’t happen all at once, it will happen little by little.
In other, much lighter news, THE WEATHER! Ugh. More snow last night. But, it is 25 degrees outside, so when I went out to take these pictures it actually felt warm, if that gives you any indication as to how cold it has been lately.
The first one is my front yard, and the second one is my back yard.
I am actually getting cabin fever. I hardly ever get that, because I love being at home.
Well, have a good Sunday.
I know that you have heard how cold it is – with this Polar Vortex – but, seriously. It is so cold.
I think I am finally out of the first trimester exhaustion. I actually cooked a meal one day this week. I looked up an enchilada recipe online, I went to the grocery store, and I cooked! And, it was delicious. They were sweet potato/black bean/chicken enchiladas.
Here is the recipe: http://newestobsession.com/2011/10/23/chicken-black-bean-and-sweet-potato-enchiladas/
Here is the picture of my enchiladas. I ate them for dinner Thursday, Lunch on Friday and I can’t wait to have them for lunch again today!
So, I don’t know I have mentioned, but my nursery theme is “The Very Hungry Caterpillar,” based on the book by Eric Carle. I got the sheets and quilt from Pottery Barn, and I have been ordering accessories from Etsy. Just yesterday I got two of the cutest things. I got a trash can and outlet covers. Look how cute!
I am getting so excited!!!
It is snowing like crazy today so I am looking forward to getting some stuff done around the house. I hope you are all staying warm.
Well, I have hardly blogged because there has been only one thing on my mind, and it was too soon to share the news. But, now is the time!!!
Yessir, that’s my baby!!!
I am currently 12 weeks and 6 days pregnant! And on Friday we graduated from our specialist to my normal OB/GYN.
I took the test on November 17th, and after so many negative pregnancy tests over the years, I can NOT even begin to describe the joy I felt when I saw that second line. Of course, I had to take several other tests, all different brands, to see all of the second lines, and the digital test, so I could see the words I have been waiting for – PREGNANT!
I can’t lie – I have taken tests randomly throughout this pregnancy so I can have as many positive tests as negative tests I took throughout the years!
We have been excited and mostly nervous until our recent appointment graduating from the first trimester and the specialist. We are now more excited than nervous/anxious.
This has been a long, arduous journey, filled with despair and sadness, as well as hope and faith. We feel profoundly blessed to have this outcome.
Being pregnant is such a weird experience. I will expound on that later, but I have to tell you one of the best parts is that my husband has been taking such good care of me. In fact, this morning he made me this delicious breakfast….
Well, that’s all I have for today. I hope you all had a great weekend!
Happy New Year, friends and family! I can NOT believe it is the year 2014.
I also can not believe that the wind chill today is -30 and I am off school for the first day after Christmas break with a good chance of being off tomorrow, too.
That is good for a procrastinator like me, who is finishing up school work today, and laundry and perhaps taking down Christmas decorations. I have had such a LAZY break. Like, SUPER DUPER lazy.
My Christmas break consisted of many carbs, lots of naps, binge watching Homeland and Army Wives, and lots of time with my husband, friends, and parents. One major thing was missing this year, and that was my girl – my Ava!! I didn’t get to see her this Christmas and it made me feel blue.
I got a new laptop that I am writing on right now, so one of my new years’ goals is to blog at least two-three times per week. I just need to figure out where my cord for my camera is so I can have pictures in my blog. Because, who likes a blog with no pictures?? Not me.
I hope you all had a lovely Christmas, and I look forward to 2014. I have a feeling it is going to be the best year, yet.
Love you all,
I have not done laundry in 2 weeks. I usually do it on Saturdays, but I have been out of town the last two weeks.
The mound of laundry is gigantic at my house, and I have nothing to wear. The situation is dire. I’ve done 3 loads and there is barely a dent.
I set aside today to do laundry, not thinking of last minute things that I would need to do, or fun things I would want to do. So, suddenly, my day of doing laundry and catching up on mail and housework is guilt ridden with all of the other things I want to do or should be doing.
It is likely I will have to take a laundry intermission to get some things done that are not in my house.
Also, I just had lunch at 10:45 AM. I was hungry only an hour after my oatmeal breakfast. But, I think it’s because I only ate half of my breakfast and put the rest in the fridge. I just wasn’t that into it this morning.
6 hours later…
I ate a lot of crap, got my errands done, and finished approximately 20% of the laundry.
Now, time for dinner with my girlfriends….
Have a Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow!!
I had great plans to come home from work and bake these drumsticks while I went for a run. They had been marinating in buttermilk and garlic all day in the fridge. When I got home from work, they were still frozen. Wah wah wah.
Instead, I asked Mr. FS if he could handle this recipe for Huevos Rancheros Spaghetti that i had found in Oprah magazine. He’s not really a recipe guy. Don’t get me wrong, he makes a mean chicken nugget or box of Kraft mac and cheese. But he was game and he started by the pasta while I went on my run, and I fried up the eggs when I got home. Huevos Rancheros is my favorite Mexican restaurant dish, and I thought this recipe sounded delicious. It was. This picture is gross. The meal was not.
I was glad to get out and enjoy the unseasonably warm weather. I really love to run, but I have been struggling lately to get myself out the door, particularly since it is so cold and so dark in the morning. And if I don’t do it in the morning, it is near impossible to motivate myself to go in the evening after a tiring day of work, and with a tiring night of dinner, homework, baths, etc. ahead. But seeing my sister and her husband run 26.2 miles yesterday made me suck it up and go run 3 miles tonight. And I’m glad I did.
Now, I’m off to half watch the debate, half read funny celebrity tweets about the debate.
- Beth FS
Every week it is the same thing. Friday night I am so exhausted I go to bed right before ten and get up early on Saturday. Then, I go to bed late Saturday and sleep in Sunday.
Then I can’t sleep Sunday night, so I am exhausted on Monday. I take a nap after school on Monday, then I can’t sleep at night. This continues Tuesday through Thursday until I start the process again.
I surged through nap time, and went on a walk, instead.
(If you are keeping track, I have done 2 things on my monthly goals. Meal plans. Work out.)
Now, it is 7:50 and I am laying in bed barely awake typing this post.
Being exhausted does not look good on me.
Tomorrow morning is my first weigh in since starting Fitness Pal app. (More on that later.). I am nervous, but hoping there is a loss!
Well, goodnight my friends, and mom.
I seriously love roasted vegetables. They are so easy, and take a meal from meh- to really delicious and satisfying.
I *especially* love roasted cauliflower and yams or sweet potatoes. So, tonight for dinner, I made a turkey breast, and some roasted cauliflower and yams, and a few yukon golds we had leftover.
On the cauliflower I put salt, pepper, olive oil and dill.
On the yams, chili powder, cumin, paprika, salt, pepper, and olive oil.
On the yukon golds, salt, pepper, olive oil, and a little bit of garlic salt.
I roasted them at 400 degrees for about 35 minutes. Near the end of the time, the last 7 or so minutes, I kept decreasing the temperature by about 5 degrees every two or so minutes.
I had to bake the turkey breast in the toaster oven because it only cooks at 325 degrees. (Thanks mom and dad for the toaster oven!)
Here is a picture of my delicious dinner…
I have so much grading that I could do tonight, but I am on the fence as to whether I will actually do it. Hmmph.
Random stories from today:
*I burnt the roof of my mouth last night at dinner, so today, every thing I eat is excruciatingly painful.
*This morning I picked up my heated up curling iron by the barrel end.
*I finally called my insurance company back after they called me three times last week to enroll in a free program for women, but when I called I realized it was for pregnant women. Womp. Womp. Womp. I had to tell him I had a miscarriage. I was actually ok, but I felt really bad for the man I talked to on the phone. He was really sympathetic, and kind. He assured me that they wouldn’t call me back about that. And actually, directed me toward prenatal program that I could enroll in that was also free. As I am still in a place of hope, this was a small trip up in the course of my day. However, if it had been 6 months down the line and we are still not pregnant, it might have been a major setback. But, it wasn’t. And I am ok. I am hopeful.
*I took a nap after school. I need to stop doing that.
*I feel organized this week. This is good. I made a meal plan!!! YAY!!!!
Well, that’s all I got. I am off to read blogs in my google reader, and catch up on gossip and healthy people running and eating pumpkin.