Exhausted and happy.

Man Alive! I didn’t know what exhausted was until now. What a difference a kid makes! Ha ha. But, he sure is cute. And I love him so much. He is such a good boy and I could spend hours holding him and staring at him. In fact, I often do just that.

We are almost at the one month point and I can’t believe it. I spent the first two weeks crying due to hormones and breastfeeding not working out, but each day is getting better and we are figuring things out.

My mom and mother in law have been an immense help. I can’t even begin to describe how much they have done for us!

Here are some pictures of Henry Francis- our little angel!

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Well, gonna go catch some z’s while Henry is sleeping.
Xoxox
Beth WA

99 more days…

Happy Easter, friends!!
I know I have been so terrible about blogging, but I don’t like to blog when I don’t feel like I have something to say. Which, is probably why I am not somebody who could make money doing a blog. HA HA.

Things have been moving along well with my pregnancy. Tomorrow I will be 26 weeks. I can hardly believe it. Time is absolutely flying by, especially as the school year is coming to a close. I can hardly believe it – but there are only 28 days left of school!

Then, 6 weeks after that, baby time!! My doctor’s appointments have been going well. The baby has a strong heartbeat, and measures perfectly. My blood pressure has been good, and I have been feeling good, except I get tired so easily. I take a nap every day around 4 and I am still able to sleep at night.

Here are my updated bump pictures…

week 22

week 24

week 25

week 26

I accidentally forgot to take a week 23 shot. It is driving me crazy. My dad told me to suck in my belly and take a fake one. HA HA! I just might do that…..

Well, I hope everybody had a lovely weekend.

xoxoxo,
Beth WA

Time flies in the 2nd trimester…

So, every single minute of my first trimester was filled with anxiety, and nervousness and exhaustion.  So, each minute felt like so much longer.  The weeks dragged on until I reached that glorious second trimester.  That is when the chance of miscarriage is very, very small.  So, I was extremely elated to reach that milestone and to be able to share the news with everybody.  I don’t think I have ever gotten that many “likes” or comments on a post on Facebook in my life.  This baby is fulfilling so many prayers and hopes, and I feel so blessed and lucky.  And I am rooting and praying every single day, for the women that are dear to me, and women I don’t know that are still on the journey to become pregnant.  It is not an easy road.  In fact, it is the hardest road I have ever traveled.  I pray for those people every day.  

Multiple times a day.

 

So, I have been taking weekly pictures, and here are weeks 13-18.  It is something I knew I wanted to do when I got pregnant.  I just started to pop out, so the first couple pictures are just my regular belly, but near the end you can see it is getting bigger.

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And here is the bambino at the ultrasound I had this week, week 19.  We could have found out the gender, but we are waiting.  

 

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We cracked up because the baby kept raising its fist in the air like that – as if it were pissed at us for bothering him/her.

 

Also, I ordered canvases from Etsy for the nursery.  Our theme is Very Hungry Caterpillar, and I loved these canvases online.  But, I was nervous to get them and when I received them, they were even more beautiful than I imagined.  They were hand painted. 

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And here are the first pieces of clothing I bought for the baby.  I am telling you this – not finding out the gender is a real money saver for me.  I know I would be buying clothes left and right if I knew what I was having.  So, here are the cutest gender neutral clothes…from J. Crew.  They were a splurge, but I couldn’t resist.  I love both of these books so much.

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And lastly, here is a picture of my sweet baby girl – my niece Ava- who lives in Texas, at her second annual school hoe-down.

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Things have been good here, except that my mother’s mother passed away last week.  It has been a tough week for my mom, and also a lovely week as family and friends gathered to support our family.  It always makes me tear up the people who show up at wakes and burials.  It is such a thoughtful gesture, especially when it is in the middle of the work week.. . People from my work, friends from near and far, and our Springfield family and friends.  I appreciate so much the support and love I feel on a daily basis.

 

Well, nesting has begun, and today my husband and I are going through all of our clothes to donate, toss, and organize.  

 

xoxoxo,

Beth WA

Survivor’s Guilt

I have this weird feeling, now that I am pregnant.  I had it when I got married, too.  

I didn’t meet my husband until I was almost 30, and most of my friends had been married for years by then (I live in Ohio!).  Or, if they weren’t married, they were in a long term relationship.  I was the “single friend.”  And, I guess over the years, being single was a huge part of my identity.  It was who I was.  And when I finally met my husband, and married him, it took a long time to let go of that part of my identity.  There were parts of that identity that I really loved.  But, I think I even started to love the part that I got to feel sorry for myself.  

And when I wasn’t single any more, I felt like I had betrayed all the single people who were looking for a mate like I had been.  I knew I had no more “credibility” with them, because I had gone to the other side.

And now, after three and a half years of infertility, I am 14 weeks pregnant.  And I am feeling that guilt.  There are people I know who are still struggling with this issue, and I want them to know that I still ache for them, like I ached for so long.  And even 14 weeks in, having known I am pregnant for 10 weeks now, it still does not seem real, and I am still letting go of the identity I assumed as a woman suffering with infertility.  I was so sad for so long, and it is weird – even though I am pregnant – that sadness didn’t go away immediately.  Little by little I can feel it being lifted.  But, it wasn’t a sudden cure all for that “suitcase of sad” that I carried around for so long.

But, like letting go of my single self, I know I will soon be able to let go of that sadness.  It won’t happen all at once, it will happen little by little.

 

In other, much lighter news, THE WEATHER! Ugh.  More snow last night.  But, it is 25 degrees outside, so when I went out to take these pictures it actually felt warm, if that gives you any indication as to how cold it has been lately.

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The first one is my front yard, and the second one is my back yard.

 

I am actually getting cabin fever.  I hardly ever get that, because I love being at home. 

Well, have a good Sunday.  

xooo,

Beth WA