Mister Bates…

I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head. I feel like so much is going on right now. And in the midst of it, I am trying to get back to the gym and to Fitness Pal. It’s the 8th day of January and I just can’t get it together.
And today, I just decided to confront those things that are keeping me from going to the gym and eating right.
I keep stuffing my face to try to numb the pain of infertility. I am leaving my place of hope and entering my place of panic. And it is wearing on me.
There. I said it.
I am stuffing my face, and not exercising.
My brother and his wife, and their daughter, my precious love of my life, Ava, are leaving at the end of the month to move to Texas. That is twenty hours away from me.
I am stuffing my face to numb the sadness that overwhelms me about that. My brother will never know my kid, (that I may not even have) like I know his. My relationship with his kid, Ava, will never be the same. Our relationship is about to change. This makes me sad, because I like it the way it is.
So, I eat to numb that pain.

So many changes. So many things on my mind.
I have turned to God. I have been attending church regularly, and praying often.
And now I just need to treat myself better, eat right and exercise. And be sad when I need to be sad.
I need to lean on people, not food.

I am hoping by putting these thoughts to words, I will do something about it.
Today I even went so far as to pack a gym bag.
But, I didn’t go to the gym after school.
I went home. And ate pumpkin bread.

Hmph.

So, this was quite a pity party, wasn’t it?
There have been many bright spots in my days.
On Sunday….

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Oh, Mister Bates. And Mary and Matthew…sigh…

And, my favorite magazine of the year…

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Also, I had a really great weekend.
On Saturday night, my niece Ava spent the night.

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Then, some of my best girlfriends came over, and we played a game called Things, and mostly laughed our butts off the whole night. Beth FS brought her daughter who is friends with my Ava, and they played all night and listened to One Direction.
These are friends I’ve known for over 20 years, so it felt good to hang out with them, and as I mentioned, LAUGH!
These are some of the funniest people I know.

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Well, this blog entry was cathartic.
I am feeling more hopeful, and ready to take on the gym tomorrow.

I guess sometimes it just feels good to let out your feelings and deal with them.

Tomorrow is Wednesday, but I am ready for it to be Friday.
Although, my weekend holds mostly cleaning in store for me as I am having a massive going away party for my brother the following weekend….
more on that later.

Have a good evening!
Beth WA

Thursday: New Recipe Day, oh, and Magic Mike.

Ok, I am not even going to apologize for not blogging, I am just going to start again.  : )

The new recipe I am trying for this week is in the oven right now.  It’s from Healthy Tipping Point, and it’s mushrooms stuffed with hummus and then cooked in the oven.  I actually enjoyed the post so much, because Caitlin says that mushrooms are one of the things she buys all of the time at the grocery store, but then forgets about, and they go bad.  The same thing happens to me, even though I love them.  I also have this problem with hummus.  I buy it and then never feel like eating it.  So, this recipe was a perfect marriage of two things I need to use in my refrigerator.

Here is the post from Healthy Tipping Point:

http://www.healthytippingpoint.com/2012/06/stuffed-shrooms.html

I will post pictures when they finish.

In the mean time, there were a few things I wanted to chat about.

First: MAGIC MIKE.

Hubba. Hubba.  This is so weird for me, because I am not usually one to like the hunky, dopey type.  I like the goofy, nice guy with dimples…hey wait.  Maybe that’s it – the dimples!  Channing Tatum has dimples.  Yeah, that’s the ticket.  ha ha .  Truly, I know his body is amazing, but for me, that’s never been “the thing” that makes my heart go pit-pat.  He is rather charming and funny in the movie, and I just LOVED the dance scenes.  They delivered.  But, what was most fun was going with my besties (one of them being Beth FS) on opening night.  The theatre was PACKED.  I am not sure which was more entertaining, the movie, or the audience.

Okay, Channing was definitely more entertaining.

The other thing is TOMKAT splitting. Oh.em.gee.

I mean, on one hand, I was completely expecting it but on the other hand, I was taken aback.  And all of the gossip sites have been ALL OVER IT.  At first, I was loving it, but now, it’s a bit too much.  I mean, I had to have read over 17 articles about Katie speaking for the first time since the news, and the quote was, “I’m all right — thank you.”

Seriously.  That is the quote.

Another thing I was obsessing over, and have now come to terms with is this.

broken heart.

In my heart of hearts, I know that she wasn’t cut out for this job, but the way it happened.  Blech.

And Matt Lauer, you are on my $%#  list.  Even though you are an OU Bobcat, like my husband.

And last, but certainly not least.  I am addicted to Downton Abbey.  I am swept up in it, and can’t stop watching it.  And my bff in California just told me that the third season won’t start until January.  That’s not good seeing as the first season took me 3 days to watch.

Well, I hope everybody is staying cool.  It is so hot in Ohio right now, that unless you are in a pool, you should be inside.  My neighborhood is usually flooded with runners and walkers, even when it’s too hot for my liking.  But, right now, nobody is out and about.  And my car is broken, so I have been housebound.  Hopefully we can get my car fixed sooner than later.

Maybe I should start playing the lottery.   : )

Love to you all.  Happy JULY!!!

 

Cheers, Beth WA